Purple Nurple

Ok fellow male runners out there, I don’t think I am alone here when I ask you to keep your shirts on for a just a while longer.  I’m not asking for much.  Shit guys, it’s only February.  And it’s not hot yet. Not even close.  I know, I know, you’re excited that you don’t need to don your base layers for your 5-mile jaunt.  I hear you.   But in just a couple months we’ll be a sweltering 30 degrees hotter than we are now, and you’ll finally have your chance to remove this single piece of apparel you obviously find so annoying.  Soon Carrboro will grant you permission to put your sweaty nipples and gaping belly buttons on display.  But until then, my friends, you are making running spectacles of yourselves.  I promise that you will not overheat with a short-sleeve on.  Nor will your body chafe (and if it does, there’s always Body Glide).  And please don’t think that your rock-hard, cross-fit pectorals make any bit of difference in the matter.  Brother, you’re turning heads, but not for the reasons you think.  A well-defined body doesn’t earn you a pass on being ridiculous.  Being shirtless in 65 or even 70 degrees is just plain silly.  Especially when there’s still snow on the ground.  Everyone will cut you slack when it’s so hot that you can’t even walk outside without getting soaked – but until then, cover up them chesticles, gentlemen.  I’m just trying to help you out here.  Peace.


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